I met a daddy called John my first night in the silverdaddies. This is a story of twink sucking old guy, John.We were in the TV room, and through our conversation, we quickly discovered that we shared many interests and viewpoints. We hit it off immediately.

Over several months, we became close friends. Nothing sexual, mind you, because I was firmly in the closet and terrified of any physical intimacy with someone I actually knew. Still, I was attracted to a daddy called John and wondered about him. He was taller than me, about six foot two. He was solidly built with a decidedly exotic look in his complexion and features. He laughed a lot – especially at my jokes, which did wonders for my ego.

Toward the end of the year, I became worried when a daddy called John announced he was moving out of the silverdaddies and into an apartment. Would we be able to see each other? Could we maintain our friendship? Would things ever be able to go any further? My answer came soon.

About three days after a daddy called John moved out of the silverdaddies, he called and asked if I wanted to come over and hang out. I was excited. Despite my closet case worries, the potential of losing my new friend, of distance growing between us, had led me to fantasize about being with him and developing our relationship into something more than just friends.

As I walked over to his apartment that night, I ran various scenarios through my head sucking old guy . All of them involved great risk of embarrassment and humiliation as I saw it. Fear of rejection. Fear of outing. Fear of a sound beating.

And, also, fear of falling in love.
Crash and burn.